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102 Terrifying Things You May Want To Consider Before Getting Pregnant And Having Kids

The miracle of life is a beautiful thing. Well, the love between parents and their children is a beautiful thing. The actual act of childbirth? That’s pretty traumatic. But it’s important to know exactly what you’re getting yourself into before having kids, and that’s why reproductive rights activist Abigail Porter has created “The List.”

Over the last few years, Porter has dedicated her time to compiling over 100 “reasons not to have kids” on TikTok. From the overwhelming expenses to the havoc pregnancy can wreak on women’s bodies, we’ve gathered the full list below, as well as some of Abigail’s videos. I’ll warn you right now that this content is not for those with weak stomachs. But if you plan on having children, this is the reality! And keep reading to find conversations with Abigail and Therese Shechter, director and producer of the documentary My So-Called Selfish Life.

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So reproductive rights activist Abigail Porter has compiled a comprehensive list of “reasons not to have kids”

Part 1: Pregnancy

1. Morning sickness.

2. You can become allergic to your own skin. It’s called pemphigoid gestationis and it effects about 1 in 50,000 pregnancies.

3. You can’t choose how many babies you have. Imagine you finally decide you’re ready to have a kid and then BOOM, triplets. That’s triple the finances, triple the mouths to feed, and triple the stress!

4. MANY women lose their teeth during and after pregnancy. Babies need a lot of calcium to grow their skeletons, and if there isn’t enough calcium in the woman’s diet, the baby will take the calcium from the mother’s bones. They literally steal your bones to make their own.

5. Babies sometimes grind their gums together in the womb and you can HEAR THEM doing it.

6. Fetuses in the womb will grow hair called lanugo all over their bodies in order to help keep them warm. Eventually the fetus will shed that hair and eat it. For the first few days of their life, a babies poop is made out of mostly hair and amniotic fluid. Ew.

7. A woman grew warts and blisters all over her body because her pregnant body started to reject the years-old ink from her tattoos.

8. Babies kicking and moving around in the womb isn’t always “cute.” Sometimes it looks like an alien is trying to brutally claw their way out of the body. And apparently it HURTS.

9. You can become allergic to the baby’s pee when it’s inside you which makes your insides feel “itchy.”

10. One woman said the baby felt like a “bag of snakes” inside her.

11. You can grow pregnancy tumors in your mouth called pyogenic granulomas.

Image credits: Global_Ground1873

12. Your toenails can get really soft and break or even fall completely off.

13. It’s very common for the 2 muscles that run down the middle of your stomach to separate during pregnancy. It’s called diastasis recti and your can put your fingers into the separation.

14. You can develop an allergy to your pets while pregnant. This one is an absolute deal breaker for me, my 2 cats are my babies.

15. When babies “kick,” they can actually bruise you from the inside.

16. Pregnancy nose (due to hormone changes, the nose swells up pretty significantly).

17. It’s possible to become so constipated during pregnancy that the poop has to come out the other end. Pregnant people have literally puked their own poop.

18. One mom developed asthma from her baby kicking her lungs so often inside her.

19. Chromhidrosis is a rare condition commonly associated with pregnancy where your sweat can turn colors. This can dye your clothing, your bed sheets, and even your toilet seat blue, green, yellow, brown, or even black.

20. Preeclampsia and all of it’s symptoms (headaches that don’t go away, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, pain, sudden weight gain, trouble breathing, edemas, and more).

21. Stone Babies. Calcified fetuses that, if undetected, can stay in your body for your entire life. A woman was “pregnant” with a stone baby for over 40 years.

22. Baby kicks feel like diarrhea at first.

23. Your belly can stretch so far that your belly button completely disappears.

24. “Morning” sickness is not limited to mornings.

25. You can get pregnant… while you’re pregnant. It’s called a “superfetation” pregnancy. One surrogate mother was pregnant with someone else’s baby and then got pregnant with her own baby 6 months later!

26. Blood volume during pregnancy increases by 45%. You have almost a gallon more blood in your body while pregnant.

Part 2: Childbirth

Image credits: Jonathan Borba

27. The longest recorded labor in history was 75 DAYS LONG.

28. Most people poop on themselves and the delivery table during childbirth.

29. One woman in my TikTok comment section died twice during childbirth. She died. Twice.

30. Ekane (a popular TikToker and mother) said she has been shot 3 times and she prefers getting shot to contractions.

31. It’s possible to push so hard during contractions that you detach your retinas.

32. It’s also possible for your entire eyeball to pop out during labor.

33. The size of an average uterus before vs after giving birth (forget about “bouncing back, it’s literally impossible):

Image credits: drjenniferlincoln

34. Episiotomies. They cut your vaginal hole opening with scissors to make it easier for the baby’s head to come through.

35. FORCEP. ASSISTED. DELIVERY. Also known as “The Salad Tongs”

36. Your bladder can be traumatized by the pressure of birth and it can cause your pee hole to swell shut. It can make peeing painful or, in extreme cases, impossible!

37. The blood vessels in your eyes can rupture if you push too hard during childbirth.

38. After you deliver the baby, you have to deliver the placenta. According to some, this feels like pushing a warm jellyfish the size of a handbag out of your vagina.

39. Cervical ripening balloons (used for mechanical dilation) .

40. Your vagina can fall out. It can fall out during birth or it can fall out years down the line.

41. Your butthole can rip open during childbirth.

42. This woman was billed over $50,000 for her postpartum hospital stay.

43. Human heads have evolved at an extremely rapid rate, which is why humans have a much higher childbirth mortality rate than other mammals. Baby heads are literally too big for our tiny bipedal pelvises!

44. When necessary, a nurse might shove their entire fist into your vagina to prevent you from hemorrhaging during childbirth.

45. Epidurals. Many people are under the impression that epidurals are an anesthetic shot you get in your back once before labor happens. Epidurals are actually a small catheter and TUBE that stays in your back for your entire labor, continuously pumping you with anesthesia. Which brings me to the next bullet point…

46. The epidural needle.

47. Your epidural is also plugged into the wall, which means it can be unplugged. One woman on TikTok said her husband unplugged her epidural during labor in order to charge his phone, then called her dramatic when she said she was in pain.

48. One woman’s nurse tripped over her epidural while it was in her back. She has lifelong back pain now.

49. Another woman’s epidural caused her to lose the urge to pee for 6 months after birth. She peed herself constantly. Yeah… that’s enough about epidurals.

Part 3: Postpartum & the Newborn Phase